May 17th, 2010
The following six highlighted loops reviews from A Life Measured in Inches are chosen from John Holmes’ extensive filmography. The book includes reviews of recognizable and obscure titles. All movies (and loops) included in the biography were viewed and reviewed by the authors. The loops are not rated. Click on images to enlarge. (Note: The photos are from the decades in which the loops were filmed.)
John Holmes: A Life Measured in Inches
© 2008 Jennifer Sugar and Jill C. Nelson. All Rights Reserved.
John Holmes: A Life Measured in Inches
by Jennifer Sugar & Jill C. Nelson
Playmate #11: Wild Beauty, 1971
This loop features John Holmes with the delectable Linda McDowell (a.k.a. Claudia Grayson) wearing a short, silky blue dress. McDowell is beautiful, with flowing chestnut curls and she is full of spit and vinegar. John, on the other hand, is quite handsome, with a trim moustache and slicked-down hair — looking very much a gentleman. He runs his eyes over Linda’s sensuous body as she removes her dress, bra and panties, while bouncing on the bed.
With annoying overdubs, she asks if his “friend” can come out to play, so John removes his pants to reveal his package (which appears to be about five inches at rest). Linda smiles, “It’s looking a little wilted.” John manhandles it and gently reminds her, “It’s never let us down before.”
Linda performs oral like nobody’s business and John’s penis grows like Pinochio’s nose. Holmes climaxes into her mouth and before you know it, they’re raring to go at it again. This time, he penetrates her sideways before he turns her over so that he can enter her anally. This is a very painstaking operation that John takes time to do correctly (he greases her up with Vaseline). Linda can’t resist giggling while she lies on her tummy, hugging an accent pillow. Some versions of this scene (which has been infused into many compilation DVDs) contain the ominous soundtrack from the 1975 film, Jaws. In a 1977 interview for Eros magazine, John named Linda McDowell as one of his “top five” favorite co-stars.
7 minutes. Linda McDowell, John Holmes
Pretty Girls #16: Big Dick, early 1970s
John is interrupted while he peruses a porno magazine at the dining room table, when his girlfriend catches him. She surprises him by stepping on top of the foldout in her high heels. She twists her foot over the face and breasts of the centerfold as if she’s stamping out a cigarette on the ground before lying on the table. John’s girlfriend, a girl with wavy, auburn hair, takes his pen and draws a moustache on the girl in the magazine. John (wearing his hair combed down and a brown leather jacket) looks a little annoyed with her, but realizes that the thing to do is give his own girl a little TLC.
He stands behind her and kisses her shoulder before whispering into her ear. She grins and sits up to remove her halter dress and panties. John takes off his shirt and after making out for a bit, they get naked and have sex on the table. He winks and blows kisses to her, and looks quite excited before he climaxes all over her face.
Color loop from the early 1970s
This loop can be seen on the Blue Vanities compilation tape #380, which is comprised mostly of material originally filmed on 16 millimeter that was unfortunately left unlabeled. John appears very young, with a clean-shaven face and short, curly hair. He lies in bed with an older woman (with a blonde beehive) and a younger brunette. The older blonde goes down on the girl and fingers her. John joins in to lick the clitoris. The blonde continues to give the young girl head while John moves up to fondle the brunette’s large breasts and allows her to suck on his penis, which grows quite large and firm.
While John penetrates the brunette, the blonde looks on, notably once at the camera, looking very bored and she appears to have hurt feelings. The loop is silent, so the viewer cannot hear what she says to the couple going at it, but afterward, they move so that she can lie down on the bed. After he’s out of the girl’s vagina, John starts rubbing his shaft, which appears to have gone a little bit soft. The camera cuts, and the brunette is shown using the blonde’s stomach as her pillow as she starts fluffing John.
John’s interactions with the older woman in this scene are reminiscent of that with Mrs. Hamilton in the 1970 feature, Johnny Wadd. Although there were numerous reasons whey John had difficulties working with some women, it seems that he genuinely was not a fan of older women, especially in his early days as a performer. All in all, the blonde is left to come across as very needy and jealous of the other girl, like she’s clueless to the fact that she’s a third wheel as she plays with John’s cum and tries to involve herself more in the scene — without success.
Playmate #1: It Takes A Thief, 1973 or 1974
John dons a black-knitted cap and black turtleneck sweater as he uses a screw-driver to cut through the screen door and break into the bedroom of a young woman (Gilda Grant). She awakens and is frightened that a stranger is in her bedroom, but he is able to seduce her with ease and Gilda relaxes. John is tender after a somewhat aggressive beginning to this silent clip.
Mark Novick, who shot this scene, recalls that it was filmed at a swingers’ house in Los Angeles one evening, and that John actually had his own bedroom at the residence. Additionally, Gilda Grant wore Novick’s high school ring as a pendant on her necklace during this shoot.
Gilda and John were involved in a relationship off-screen and began living together early in 1974. She was in a couple of girl-girl loops, but besides appearing with John in one other loop (Girl Scout Cookies), Gilda was never penetrated on camera by anyone else. Not coincidentally, Bill Amerson had commented that Gilda was probably the only woman who John had ever truly loved.
5 minutes. Gilda Grant and John Holmes
Color loop from the early to mid 1970s
John, with a moustache and long, slicked-down hair, wears a silk smoking jacket — complete with cigarette — while being pampered by three elegant women. A blonde, a brunette and Susie Carlson (who is also in the 1974 feature, Cheri) all wear chiffon nightgowns with nothing underneath. As they flank him, John flashes a shit-ass grin and intimates that he’d like to be “worked over.” Carrying his cigarette and ashtray, John and the three girls move toward the bed.
He gets comfortable on the mattress and continues to smoke as they massage him and rub oils onto his lean body in preparation for sex. While bantering with the girls, he makes them laugh, as they lick his penis. John kisses the brunette’s nipples as they are hovering over his face, and after she disappears, he makes out with Carlson as the blonde gets on her hands and knees for him to enter her from behind. Holmes and Carlson continue to kiss as he plunges in and out of the blonde before erupting onto her backside, his tongue still in Carlson’s mouth. This film contains audio.
Swedish Erotica #206: Shower Beauty, late 1970s
Kitty Shayne (who was also in the 1979 feature, Blonde Fire) takes a shower and doesn’t realize that a handyman (John Holmes) is outside, trying to fix its leak from the outside. After her shower, John, in a denim jacket with patches and blue jeans, peeks at Kitty as she towels off. He sneaks into the house to surprise her. Captions convey the simple storyline.
Kitty reaches for her red scarf to cover her prominent breasts, but John takes the scarf away and ties it around her neck before they engage in gentle kisses. They move into the bedroom, where John undresses as Kitty waits for him on the bed in a seductive pose. She can’t wait to take him into her mouth and soon enough, John penetrates her from behind before thrusting between her breasts prior to his climax.